How could she do something like
this to me?" said a voice in my head. All the time. Every day.
Back in 2011, when
everything had gradients, iOS icons made sense, and people used
deodorants, I was stuck in middle of a pretty bad depression due to my
divorce.
Thankfully, I think I was smart enough (and
had great people around me) so I managed my way out.
One day I walk into
the office, and my day begins at my computer screen. It was all great,
until I saw this message:
Your password has
expired.
Click
'Change password' to change your password.
No shit. I thought
clicking 'Change password' was gonna do something else.
I read this dumb
message in my mind with angry grandpa voice: The damn password has
expired.
At my workplace, the Microsoft Exchange server
is configured to ask thousands of employees around the planet to change
their passwords. Every 30 days.
Here is the horseshit:
The server forces us to use at least one UPPERCASE character, at least
one lowercase alphabetic character, at least one symbol and at least one
number. Oh, and the whole damn thing can't be less than eight
characters. And I can't use any of the same passwords I've used in the
last three months.
I was furious that
morning. Tuesday, 9:40 a.m. It was so hot that my torso was already
sweaty even though I just got to work. I was late. I was still wearing
my helmet. I think I forgot breakfast. Something tastes like cigarette
in my mouth. I need to get shit done before my 10 a.m. meeting and all I
have in front of me is a huge waste of my time.
So there it was...
this input field with a pulsating cursor, waiting for me to type a
password that I'll have to re-enter for the next 30 days. Many times
during the day.
Then, letting all the frustration go, I
remembered a tip I heard from my former boss.
I'm gonna use a
password to change my life.
It was obvious that I
couldn't focus on getting things done with my current lifestyle and
mood. Of course, there were clear indicators of what I needed to do --
or what I had to achieve -- in order to regain control of my life, but
we often don't pay attention to these clues.
My password became the
indicator. My password reminded me that I shouldn't let myself be victim
of my recent break up, and that I'm strong enough to do something about
it.
My password became: "Forgive@h3r"
I had to type this
statement several times a day. Each time my computer would lock. Each
time my screensaver with her photo would appear. Each time I would come
back from eating lunch alone.
In my mind, I went
with the mantra that I didn't type a password. In my mind, I wrote
"Forgive her" every day, for one month.
That simple action
changed the way I looked at my ex wife. That constant reminder that I
should forgive her, led me to accept the way things happened at the end
of my marriage, and embrace a new way of dealing with the depression
that I was drowning into.
In the following days,
my mood improved drastically. By the end of the second week, I noticed
that this password became less powerful, and it started to lose its
effect. A quick refresh of this 'mantra' helped me. I thought to myself
I forgive her as I typed it, every time. The healing effect of it came
back almost immediately.
One month later, my
dear exchange server asked me again to renew my password. I thought
about the next thing I had to get done.
My password became
Quit@smoking4ever
And guess what happened. I shit you not. I
quit smoking overnight. This password was a painful one to type during
that month, but doing it helped me to yell at myself in my mind, as I
typed that statement. It motivated me to follow my monthly goal.
One month later, my
password became Save4trip@thailand
Guess where I went
three months later. Thailand. With savings.
Thank you, password.
So, I learned that I
can truly change my life if I play it right. I kept doing this
repeatedly month after month, with great results.
Here is an extract of
what some of my passwords have been in the last two years, so you get an
idea of how my life has changed, thanks to this method:
Forgive@her ? to my ex-wife, who started it
all.
Quit@smoking4ever ? it worked.
Save4trip@thailand ? it worked.
Eat2times@day ? it never worked, still fat.
Sleep@before12 ? it worked.
Ask@her4date ? it worked. I fell in love
again.
No@drinking2months ? it worked. I feel better.
Get@c4t! ? it worked. I have a beautiful cat.
Facetime2mom@sunday ? it worked. I talk with
my mom every week.
And the one for last
month:
Save4@ring ? Yep. Life is gonna change again,
soon.
I still await very anxiously each month so I
can change my password into something that I need to get done.
This method has
consistently worked for me for the last two years, and I have shared it
with a few close friends and relatives. I didn't think it was a
breakthrough in tiny habits but it did have a great impact in my life,
so I thought to share it with you all.
Try it yourself! Write
these statements with the right mindset and attitude, and you'll change
your life. Let me know how it works for you!
Remember, for added
security, try to be a bit more complex with the words. Add symbols or
numbers, or scramble a bit the beginning or the ending of your password
string. S4f3ty_f1rst!
Pass the tip to those
who might need it.
Updated on Jun 21,
2014: She said yes. |